2019 End of Year Wrap Up | Before a Seed Grows
Happy New Year’s Eve!
Earlier this week, Michael and I were discussing “favorite holidays” and we both realized we couldn’t decide on one. Holidays are weird when you grow up. They can be stressful, and expensive, and exhausting, even when they are filled with joy and love. But sitting here on December 31, 2019, I’ve just realized that New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday.
The 31st of December gives us two very important gifts. In a world where time seems to crash continually forward like waves on a beach, the end of the year gives us a moment to pause and reflect. To look back on a whole year made up of laughter, tears, joy, grief, boredom, chaos, exhaustion, love, stress, magic. The other gift is the opportunity to wipe the slate clean and look to the future with fresh eyes. Anything is possible. We get to say to the previous year - thank you, and goodbye.
I’d like to take a few moments to look back on our year. A lot happened in 2019, so let’s start with a bit of a list.
We released our first full length album, Meet Me.
We quit our jobs and became full time musicians.
We played 114 shows in 19 states.
We drove 21,724 miles. Approximately.
Our van broke down twice.
Our brains broke down at least twice.
We wrote a few songs.
We petted many dogs.
We made lots of new friends.
It’s hard to quickly sum up this year with all the good and bad that it brought us, so let me try… by using a big ol’ metaphor.
I’ve decided that 2020 will be a year of growth. It’s my word to focus on. I wrote it real big in my journal. In keeping with that theme, let’s pretend that in 2019 I was a seed. There I was, my tiny seed self resting safe and warm in a farmer’s hand. Unbeknownst to me, this famer had been preparing the soil to make it the perfect place for me to grow. She made sure all the conditions were right. My little seed life was fine, when suddenly, I was dropped into the soil. 2019 was as if that fall from hand to soil was slowed down so much that it lasted an entire year.
Somewhere in my tiny seed brain I knew I was meant to grow bigger. To be more. So there was exhilaration in the fall. Curiosity. Wonder. A sense of purpose. But at the same time, as I was falling I had no idea where I was going. I couldn’t see that far. Seeds have no eyes. I felt fear for what I did not know. There was grief for the loss of my safe home in the farmer’s hand. Confusion about what would come next. In the end though, I was planted. And now I begin to grow.
If you’re not into metaphors, I will wrap up by saying that this year was a gift, a whirlwind, a joy and a privilege. My head spins with how lucky I am to be living my dream life. And at the same time, this year brought us grief like we never knew before, insecurity and uncertainty, and the constant (sometimes exhausting) forging of new paths. Parts of 2019 could qualify it for the “best year ever”. And parts of 2019 could qualify it for the worst.
It’s been a wild ride. Thank you 2019, for all you have given us, all you have taught us, and all you have taken away. We thank you, and we say goodbye.
2020, let’s grow together.
